Dear Unita He's "...grabbing me everywhere"

Dear Unita, I have a great friend who is totally gay, totally cool and totally out, but something happened recently that seems to only be confusing me. While we were out drinking at another friend's house a month ago, gayboy passed out on the sofa and as usual, we stayed the night and I simply slept next to him. It's happened more times than I can count and nothing have ever happened between us. Until that night, gayboy never touched me in bed. This night however I was awoken to gayboy munching my bosom and grabbing me everywhere. At first I was shocked but I let him continue until he just as suddenly as he started, stopped, turned around and began snoring loudly. I never said anything to him about what happened and he does not seem to remember his subconscious heterosexual tryst with me on the sofabed. Is gayboy in reality a closeted hetero or is it just wishful thinking on my part? Wishing he'll do it again. ... ... ... ... ... Dear Wishing, I've totally had the same experience! Many times! It's really hard to be so close, socially, emotionally and especially physically with our favorite fag and not get any return on our investment, if you know what I mean. But GET REAL! He's gay! He's not just trying it out for a while just to see what it's like. He's not going to, while this earth still turns, have a revelation one day and suddenly say "You're the one!" It's really nice to be able to be so close to a man in every way and wouldn't having sex with him really complete the dream you have for yourself, but it's a dream. Realize that's it's the sick joke that fate plays on us fag hags. Once you wipe the tears and kill the butterflies, you'll be able to have a wonderfully fulfilling relationship that is the fag and fag hag reality. Yours Always, Unita Mann